God, my life is a mess. I give it to you and ask you to sort it out

Between 1970 and 1975 I spent about 3 years in multiple hospitals suffering from epilepsy. It is a condition that frightens people and I experienced rejection a lot. Some people would cross to the other side of the road if I was fitting rather than offer any form of help and I invariably injured myself.

I was very fortunate to be in hospital during one fit as it caused my heart to stop. Back then defibrillators weren’t briefcase size like today but were huge machines on a trolley that would be rushed down corridors by 4 men to get to where it was needed. When I awoke this enormous machine was beside my bed and I was told that it had saved my life. Not long after, my parents were told to prepare for my death which was likely to be soon….